Life at No.22, Musings

The Final Chapter

Suzanne

A quiet moment.

Just to be.

Myself and my thoughts.

Reflective.

Side swiped by reality.

Tingled with sadness.

The final chapter, Mum and Dad.

Quality over quantity

When we age.

There is nothing surer in life

Than change.

Dealing with it.

Remembering that time

never stops.

Tick tock

Making the most of each sunny day.

Published by Suzanne

Travel and Life Musings from New Zealand and Beyond. . . . . . .

44 thoughts on “The Final Chapter”

    1. Thanks Jo and there is sadness though relief in knowing that once Mum moves in soon they will be cared 24hrs. I live a short distance to visit and help when needed with help from family. Making the best of life as much as we can. Sending you a hug too as we all have issues/situations to tackle.

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  6. Always a difficult decision to make when it comes to our parents and their life choices. I hope that the care they receive is what they need and they are together. It is good that you are close at hand.

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    1. It’s a lovely Carehome and they’re together. Will take each day as it comes. With such an aging society with us baby boomers I wonder how on earth the Government/health system can afford to keep us!

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      1. Residential / Nursing Homes here are very expensive and the council run ones are not always up to standard, if you can find a place. It’s a huge problem if you reach the stage where you can’t look after yourself. I just hope we can keep as healthy and mobile as long as we have to!

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        1. OMG, the waiting lists and trying to find a “good” place is horrendous and stressful. We found a lovely place. Very expensive and as far as I know we don’t have council run ones. Most people are barely making ends meet let alone save more for retirement. Our Government tries to keep people in their homes as long as possible with SupportNet who supply home help.

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            1. Same in New Zealand, some days they wouldn’t turn up or would be late. Unfortunately as a society we don’t value tbem enough. Their wages aren’t high. We have to applaud all our hospital/home health workers they are a blessing.

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              1. That’s very true. Care workers need proper training and qualifications to do their job well and should be rewarded properly. Instead it’s a low paid job with little training. We were too far away to keep an eye on the ones my mother-in-law had and they took advantage of that.

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    1. Yes, I knew you would understand Anabel. I hope the journey with your Mum isn’t too hard as time goes by. When the elderly can no longer look after themselves and lose their independence is hard on the person and those that care for them. It’s going to be a challenging society when all of us babyboomers reach this stage if we are lucky or unlucky depending on how you view it. For those of us with no children, there is the need to put more thought into it before the options disappear. Yes, I think of you all over there dealing with lockdown and life in general. Not an easy time, which is an understatement! Take care.

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      1. Thanks Suzanne. The hardest thing with my mum is that she will never admit there’s anything wrong and accept suitable help! So I have to be a bit cunning which feels like a betrayal sometimes. John and I have talked about what we will do and intend to be more flexible, but who knows what the effects of ageing will be.

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  9. After reading your post, I didn’t quite know or understand what was going on with your parents, but the comments brought clarity. Touch times, Suzanne. But it is so nice that you are living close by. We constantly worry about Mark’s aging parents on the east coast of the US, who still live on their own at 90 and 85. And, if ever something happens to my parents, I guess we will have to abandon our lifestyle and move to Belgium somehow. If only time could stand still once in a while – during the good moments, of course. 🙂

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    1. Liesbet, I hope both sets of parents keep in good health until the world is a healthier place. Life wass challenging enough for many without a virus playing havoc with our lives. Here’s too many more good times here and the rest of the world. Take care, Liesbet.

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  10. Thanks for this real and yet, not wonderful update..which is happening for my Dad maybe soon …my Mum and my husband’s parents have all died. Care, when we can no longer care for ourselves is such a ….no words, really. I hope things go as well as they can. Yes, we Baby Boomers will not like this much at all. Keeping it real Suzanne, thank you. Denyse

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    1. Apologies for the delay in replying Denyse, unfortunately, your comment went into the spam folder. I’m hoping your Dad has a smooth journey into his next home. It is a grieving process when losing your independence and relying on people to care for you. Yes, we baby boomers will be hoping that we can access quality aged care facilities with qualified workers paid a decent wage. Another issue is that many of our generations aren’t planning or saving for a comfortable retirement for various reasons. How much planning can be done as who knows how our lives will pan out? Thanks for commenting, Denyse.

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    1. Thanks very much, Pam. Us siblings have worked in together as a team. We’ve all had an input in trying to do the best plus having guidance from them about what they want which is so important. Though no one wants to lose their independence sometimes the choice is taken away.
      Pam, you’re right photographs are precious and if it wasn’t for Dad and Nana (Mum’s mother) we wouldn’t have so many.

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    1. It is settling down now and both are now in a caring and safe environment. Not sure luck has anything to do with it, just the way that life pans out. Getting to a grand old age is certainly not granted to everyone.

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  15. I’m sorry you’re going though this Suzanne. It is tough, with hard decisions to be made, sadness for the loved one you remember and guilt that you aren’t doing enough. We’ve been there with Ross’ mum for the last year or so and its heart breaking. I feel for you. Being in care is something we all dread, but for some its the best choice and is where they will get the best care. Be kind to yourself Suz. You’re doing the best you can. xx

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    1. Sorry to hear you and Ross have had the same issue. It’s harder when one has a sharp mind with an ailing body.
      All of my siblings and myself have worked well as a team to do the best for our parents. It’s just another challenging life event. Builds resilience so “they” say 🙂 You take care too Wendy xx

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