Life at No.22, Musings

What did you say?

Suzanne

You know how the dialogue goes.

Do I need to repeat myself? Will you listen for once in your life? Can you pay attention to me? I would be rich if I had a dollar for each time I heard those questions over my lifetime.

Listening skills are a tremendous asset if you can hear adequately. What if you don’t hear all that is being said?

I wondered why I wasn’t comprehending all the words of a conversation. Wasn’t I listening enough? Then, without being conscious of the process, I started creating sentences, filling in the dots, so to speak, to finish the ones I wasn’t hearing.

Looking back, my brain viewed hearing from a different perspective, which made me think that I wasn’t having a problem with hearing; my concentration was what I thought was the issue. I am still continuously working on that issue that hasn’t disappeared like my hearing, though I’m pleased to report that I’m a whizz on some days. On other days, well, that assessment is best left unsaid.

Then, I started to reenter the noisy cafes, and my frustration levels exceeded 100 per cent. I didn’t comprehend how others could communicate in such a noisy environment. Again, the issue of deafness never entered my brain, as noise was the issue.

I can hear the noise, so I don’t have a hearing issue.

Do I?

The short answer is screamingly yes.

After an in-depth check-up with an audiologist, I’m moderately severely hearing impaired, and most cases occur before the age of 65. It is not an age-related issue, though it has progressively got worse.

The driving force for the check-up was my reluctance to join the girls for a coffee after basketball. The nail in the coffin, so to speak, was at my first Bridge card lesson, where I had to extract myself away from the centre of conversations. It was just a swirl of noise going around and around, with my brain unable to cope with the barrage of words that needed to be reconnected.

Being socially active is important for me and the Squire as we move on to the next chapter of dealing with his health issues. And, apparently, mine, too.

Still, I am adjusting to acknowledging that I do have hearing loss, especially now that I am more aware of how my brain readjusted itself to connect words to form sentences when my ears weren’t relaying all the correct information. Listening to people talk in noisy environments and trying to participate in conversations has been exhausting. I have a solution to this issue via very discreet behind-the-ear hearing aids and costly.

This is another learning curve for me as I readjust my brain to every damn noise that is now clear as a pin dropping on the floor.

My new mantra for a while will be, “You don’t need to yell”. Actually, yelling at someone who is hearing impaired doesn’t help; clear speech and facing them are equally helpful.

I’ll let you know how it goes, and hopefully, there will not be too many obstacles as I readjust.

P.S. Onions scream and squeal when cut; who knew?

Cover image: Huge stone statues of African American women captured in New York City, 2016. The ears are the focus of this image and this post.

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Published by Suzanne

I'm a lover of creativity and movement, expressed through photography, words, travel and sports. . . . . . .

45 thoughts on “What did you say?”

  1. Just one more challenge, Suzanne! As if you needed that, but I’m glad you sought help. I have a couple of friends totally without hearing in one ear and that needs quite an adjustment too. I’m sure you’ll get there and your social life will improve no end. Is there financial help with hearing aids in New Zealand? I know they can be really expensive as my son is an audiologist.

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    1. I wish I had my hearing sorted years ago. It’s made such a difference in a very positive way.
      Yes, there are subsidies I didn’t qualify for. We saved, which penalises most people. I’m not sure why people refuse to wear them. It’s obviously not as good as the real thing.
      Interesting career as an audiologist, and rewarding.

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        1. I was incorrect about the Govt not subsidising everyone. As $1000 automatically comes off the original price, though low income can claim more and obviously those with medical insurance. Medical insurance premier’s here are ridiculous better to put money aside and reap the dividends or interest.
          I suppose if your hearing isn’t impeding your life so much then you can put it off. In a perfect world, it would be easier not to have them. I see them and my use of them as a positive thing than the alternative of not hearing.
          Better get ready for Bridge, and do some homework or else the teacher won’t be happy 😉

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            1. Most probably. Les can now listen to the news and movies at an enjoyable level instead of it being so loud for me. More importantly it’s having the ability to hear people. Magic 🙂

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  2. John started wearing hearing aids in October and has also felt the transformation. In fact I went with him when they were fitted and the expression on his face when he heard through them for the first time was amazing! Of course, he has already managed to lose on while out on his bike …

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    1. I understand how John felt when he first starting using them. I didn’t realise how much I was missing. Incredible feeling. Though some noise I can do without, and may opt not to use them in certain circumstances. Not sure I would use them on my bike, the wind noise etc would be too loud? Plus, losing them is too high.
      I noticed the difference when listening to TV and the volume went down to half the normal sound. Poor Les. Quite a bit of adjustment on his part and mine.

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  3. It’s very strange when you’re not yet elderly to find you’re contending with a health thing that is — we might — connected with old age. In my case it was osteo-arthritis when I was 52. I’m so happy you figured this out and get to hear again!

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    1. Arthritis is something that can happen from teens to the elderly. It must be hard dealing with it. Yes, it is not an age related thing though as I wrote it does progressively get worse. I am just happy to be able to listen within a group situation instead of feeling overwhelmed with noise.

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  4. My husband, who has been wearing hearing aids for years recently found a couple articles about “hidden hearing loss” much like what you describe and which he says describes his experience. I hope the aids work out well for you. All this stuff (much of it aging) does take some adjustment time!

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    1. Eilene, it’s amazing so far, and yes, there are annoying aspects of having to wear hearing aids. Though, as I’ve written, the positive outweighs the negative. For the first time in my adult life, I actually enjoyed listening to someone speaking and teaching me and others something new, which was Bridge.
      I’m glad your husband found an article that resonated with him.
      Another thing is that wearing them has reduced the buzzing noise in my ears.

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  5. Susanne, I’m so sorry about your hearing loss. My husband is profoundly deaf and hates wearing hearing aids. He can barely hear me sometimes when I talk right into his ear. Other times, he reads my lips and seems normal. But he isn’t. He absolutely hates the excess noises that come with wearing his hearing aids. It’s a problem that has been worsening for many years (3 sets of unworn hearing aids) and will probably worsen until he is entirely deaf. We both need to start learning sign language, but we haven’t. We limp along. So, my hat is off to you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to adjust. 🙂

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    1. Hi Marsha,
      I am also sorry to hear that your husband isn’t dealing with his loss too well. Hopefully, the professionals can guide him into the right direction to make both your lives more workable.
      Sign language is now a recognised language thank goodness. Thanks for comment Marsha for me I see the introduction of hearing aids a magical thing and I’m trying not to dwell on the negative of having a loss of hearing. I’ve just come back from a group Bridge game and it was pleasant and fun to chat amongst people. Bridge is going to be a fun challenge to learn 🙂 Take care and I wish you both well.

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      1. Bridge isn’t something you learn, and then you are an expert. It’s like golf and evolves over a lifetime. My mother played it from the time she was a kid until she could no longer hold her head up. Then she passed. I’m sure she’s got a game going on somewhere. 🙂

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          1. She loved it. In the days when everyone read paper papers, there was always a bridge hand to analyze. She read that every day. She had books. I think she took lessons. It was her passion like blogging is mine.

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            1. I think I’m going to enjoy Bridge though not as intense as some players. Hopefully, blogging will always be an enjoyable hobby for me as it’s a wonderful creative outlet, isn’t it.

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  6. Pingback: WQ #163: The Inspiring World of Animals – Marsha Ingrao – Always Write

    1. So far, the results have had a positive effect than a negative. I think the wearer has to be realistic in their expectations it’s never going to be natural. Every time I’ve put them on, I’m taken back at what I hear. I’ll certainly have times at home when I don’t use them.
      I was relaxed and able to easily grasp verbal instructions during a group Bridge lesson. For me, it was magical to stand around a group chatting with background noise and not be overwhelmed, digest what’s been said, and best of all, enjoy participating.

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  10. I’m so glad you bit the bullet and had your hearing checked.

    Most people assume that age is the cause of hearing loss. It’s not always so, as in my case.
    I started wearing aids some years ago after the audiologist diagnosed nerve damage. Volume wasn’t a problem, but I wasn’t hearing the high frequency sounds; these sounds figure highly in everyday day conversation.

    As you will have discovered good quality hearing aids cut out the background noise and being computerised, they focus on the sounds I would normally miss.
    The aids connect to an App on my phone and if I chose I could connect the hearing aids to my TV.

    I don’t think our NHS provides the best quality free hearing aids, so I chose to visit a private audiologist and pay for my aids, and like yours they are tiny and hidden away behind my hair. They are so comfortable I forget I’m wearing them.

    By coincidence my annual hearing checkup is booked for later today. The aids are also due for a service by the manufacturer, temporary ones will be provided while they are away.

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    1. Thanks Sue, and you will totally understand what I am going through. Yes, I have good quality ones, and they’re computerised and tailored specially for my ears. I wasn’t picking up on certain letters and to be honest I can’t recall all the details of my examination. Not sure I need to. As far as I’m concerned, they’re magic little things 🙂 I hope your appt went well today.

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  11. It may not have been the news you wanted but knowing what the issue was AND that there was a way to fix it must have been a relief. I’m pleased the hearing aids are working out so well for you.

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    1. Thanks Ann, it has been a tremendous help so far. I didn’t realise how much sound I was missing. Though I’m sure to have some “down time” at home when I don’t need to use them. A positive thing in using them.

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  13. Pleased you’re hearing aids are helping, it must’ve been so frustrating for Les and life will be easier all round for both of you. Jack now wears hearing aids and he initially had the problem of adjusting to peripheral noises that I realise I am able to just ignore. But such a relief for me not to have to constantly repeat myself and turn the volume down on the tv.

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    1. Magic wee things, loving the difference. I would’ve preferred to have waited until old age to require them as they’re very expensive and only last up to 5 years. I have had a hearing loss most of my adult life when I look back and analysis “things”. Onwards and upwards.

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  14. A friend of mine is in denial re his hearing. Finally, he said to me that when a group of people are speaking as background noise, he cannot differentiate when someone is speaking to him. I felt rude, turning my back on the rest of the party, but the moment I faced him, he could hear me, and I checked his understanding. I have walking issues so I understand disability all too well and how short-tempered people become.

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    1. There are so many variations of hearing, which was news to me. Some letters are left out more than others and are more challenging to hear, so mistaken words can lead to random replies. However, I will still occasionally come up with random answers. Having walking issues discludes you from many activities, and yes, people do lose their patience and no doubt think, “Thank goodness that hasn’t happened to them”. People with disabilities tend to empathise more with others and learn to become more resilient to lifes curveballs.

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