Cancer Sucks, Life at No.22, The Good Fight

Bye Bye, 2025

Suzanne

You can quietly head out the door.

Well, it started positively in the form of short trips away: fresh memories of a magical beach stay at Ohope Beach, long beach walks, and a couple of short ones with Les: good food, good company and a good time.

The Whakatane Heads, which hold many memories for both of us from childhood to adulthood

Then February hit.

Still managed a few beach walks, even had a cheeky fantail/pīwakawaka keep me company

Then the universe pulled the proverbial rug out from under us. Les’s spleen decided to rupture, needing it’s removal under emergency surgery. No warning. That alone was enough to rattle my nervous system. We knew from then on that life was about to get more real.

April brought another challenge.

Autumn rain on a daisy

In the form of a terminal status, his Primary Myelofibrosis was progressing to Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a diagnosis that shattered our sense of normalcy and deepened our emotional strain. Serious illness has tiers of ‘seriousness’, so we were to find out. Our relationship with Hospice began not long after that news was given. One of the more positive sides of a terminal illness is the people we have dealt with through Waipuna Hospice. Les has had a few short stays at Waipuna since I last wrote a blog post.

Anyone who’s lived through having a partner deal with a terminal illness knows it’s not for the faint-hearted.

This year tested us both like no other, not too dissimilar from having too much sugar on Christmas Day and dealing with challenging family members. Thankfully, neither the sugar nor the family was an issue this year, as Les slept most of the day and I sought out mind-calming activities like gardening and reading. Not even a long walk was involved.

Not the day I had planned for us, though enjoyable just the same, I have concluded that focusing on small moments of connection helps build happiness and resilience, even when the whole day feels like a write-off. Since our reality can change within hours, cherishing these tiny moments becomes vital. Eventually, Les and I enjoyed some time together from early evening.

So honestly? I’m ready to shut the door on 2025.

In December, we saw life from different angles, like this praying mantis on a cosmos, one of the flowers I’ve grown this year in our communal garden.

No fireworks. No dramatic burn-down. Just a deep exhale.

As we head into a New Year, I know 2026 will continue to test our resilience, pushing us to find new ways to cope and grow after loss. It will honestly be a year of stark contrasts as I continue to support Les and also train to compete alongside some of my basketball team at the Pan Pacific Masters Games in Australia during November 2026. A recent news article describing how SWISH began and how unique our group is can be read here:NZHerald.

Mount Maunganui – sunset – our local beaches have always been our happy places and will continue to be for me.

One step at a time, and if, like me, 2025 humbled you, softened you, or broke you open a little, I understand.

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Published by Suzanne

I'm a lover of creativity and movement, expressed through photography, words, travel and sports. . . . . . .

35 thoughts on “Bye Bye, 2025”

  4. A cry from the heart, Suzanne. I love the photos, and the very real way you tell it. It’s wonderful that you can still have those precious moments together, while still building a future for yourself. I hope that 2026 can show you some kindness. For Les, I can only wish for peace. You have handled the illness with such grace, though I’m sure you must have raged against it at times. No way but forwards. Sending hugs, darlin xx

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    1. Thanks very much, Jo and please be aware that your thoughtful comments have boosted me when I needed it. Big hug for doing that. It’s our reality at the moment and I mentioned to Jude, parts of 2026 the sun will shine more brightly and new adventures to look forward to. My philosophy is that I have the privilege of living and I owe it to Les and myself to keep doing so and having adventures. He’ll be there still trying to tell me how to drive, so frustrating 😉 Wishing you both a wonderful 2026 xx

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    1. Oh, Jude as you know crying wasn’t my intention. It is a good release and I find myself on the verge of it in the most weirdest of places, like in a supermarket aisle. Not the best look. Take care and parts of 2026 the sun will shine more brightly for us.

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  7. Suzanne, I am glad that you have your basketball team, your communal garden, your beautiful photographic eye, and your writing. Thank you for sharing your talents. Your words are heavy, but your photos are light and hopeful. I’m happy to close the door on 2025, too, but for very different reasons. May we each find peace and, as you say, “one step at a time….”

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    1. Thanks very much, Suzanne, for your lovely comment. It’s my reality at the moment and there’s nothing I can do about it no matter how nicely I present it. Like some wise person said everything in life is temporary. Happy New Year and enjoy your cruise in 2026.

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  8. Thinking of you and Les Suzanne as you head into the unknowns of 2026 and what it will bring. Keep taking solace in those small moments of calm and walks on the beach and remember the love you and Les share is indestructible and eternal. Keep going, keep strong

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  10. Such a tough year for you but I admire the way you face up to these challenges and make the most of the little things that can still bring you moments of happiness. I hope you continue to find them in 2026. Oh, and I love that last photo, it’s absolutely beautiful!

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    1. Thanks very much, Sarah. There’s always happiness to be enjoyed; some days it takes more effort to make the most of it. It’s my reality at the moment no matter how nicely I package it.

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  12. It’s certainly been a trying year for you both. I’m glad you have hospice to help you through this difficult period. I wish you some transcendent moments of beauty and peace this coming year. Big hugs, Suzanne!

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    1. Thanks very much, Eilene. We’ve always held on to the positive side of life whenever possible. Compared to many we are very lucky and yes there is still plenty to be grateful for in this crazy world of ours. All the best, Eilene.

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  14. Such a difficult year for you both. I hope the coming year brings peace for you both. You have captured the beauty in your photos, thank you for sharing them with us. Good luck with the coming basketball challenge.

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    1. Well, it isn’t going to improve; it’s only going to get worse. Having said that, there is a certain amount of acceptance and peace associated with Les’s cancer journey in it’s last stage. Thanks, Pauline.

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