This past weekend, there seemed to be a lively energy in Tauranga city, with people flocking to various places, walking around the streets and voices heard over the traffic. Our city redevelopment is slowly bringing vibrancy back to the forth, reflecting Mum’s resilience and her enjoyment of observing the vitality around her. Because Mum was mostly an observer of life, she was happy to be in the background and not the centre of attention.
This happy energy carried over to our family/friends’ get-together, where genuine love of being together, chatting, and laughter knew no bounds. This happened after the sadness of saying goodbye to our much-loved Mum/Sister/Aunty, whose kindness and warmth touched us all. Now, it all feels rather surreal: most siblings have returned home, and it’s time to remember the good times we have had with Mum.
I want to share a few stories about her, some of which were shared on the day of her funeral.
Firstly, when Mum was giving birth to me, her heart needed to be restarted, due to birthing complications, and it felt right that I was there when her heart stopped for the last time.
To happier memories of Mum that still make me smile and appreciate what she did for us.
It’s about the bigness of small things, like having homemade food and freshly squeezed juice when we arrived home from school. Making sure we were dressed and always fed before heading out to explore. Mum never expected us to literally hang around with her all the time; she wanted us to go and live our lives. Never ever to feel beholden to her, though of course she loved seeing us. We all did our best to make sure Mum was always aware we loved her. Grieving always begins earlier when a loved one has been ill or has had a disability for many years.
A Childhood Memory
One year, you blossomed before my eyes, at an age when anyone older than me was an inspiration for what to wear, what to say, and how to look cool as an impressionable 13-year-old.
It was around New Year’s.
Dad was on call, and you decided to join in his work’s celebrations with friends, leaving Dad to care for us. That small moment in time when you confidently walked into the lounge in that stunning, bright red, crocheted, and silk-lined trouser suit, you transformed into this hot-looking chick and not my mother. You looked stunning, and I was so proud of you.
You went out and had fun, came home giggling, and I thought “Good on you, Mum”.
When I was driving my cousin back to her hotel, there was a beautiful sunset over the estuary as we headed from my brother’s place back to the city. I thought it quite poignant to end our day on.
Places Mum loved to sit and view
Ocassionally, wrapped fish and chips with sea air with my brother was an enjoyable treat for Mum in her last years.
Mum loved all living things, especially her garden and the birds who enjoyed the bird baths she had scattered around her outdoor space. Mum and Dad gave me a bird bath for my 30th birthday, which I put into their garden when we sold our home in Papamoa. It now lives with their old neighbours, and I hope they’re still enjoying the birdlife.
An animal that Mum also adored, though not a good combination with birdbaths, was a fat cat named Rocky, posing in Mum’s previous Papamoa home amongst the red maple acer that Mum enjoyed viewing, especially during spring/summer (cover image).
Life at No. 22 
Ordinary memories but very special because she was your mum. I love how proud you were of her xx
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Youāve written a fine tribute to your mother.
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